Tag Archives: downtown

Cherish those small freedoms and rock those BIG statement pieces!

What is freedom? How many of you are sitting at your laptops or scrolling on your smart phones and have no idea how free you really are? I will admit, I had no idea just how much freedom I had two years ago so dont take my question to be completely condescending, please. This morning I sat at looked back at a few of my older entries on this blog, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself at my total lack of self reflection on the subject

Now, don’t go thinking I’ve completely lost it, though I am totally close to the danger zone in that aspect. While my sanity is constantly in question my life is constantly about perspective these days. Yesterday I was standing in the kitchen making a salad, while chopping greens I started to feel strange, a combination of dizzy/woozy and slightly nausious. I closed my eyes momentairly and placed my hand on my forehead and saw a rainbow of purple shades. I made my way to the living room and sat forward on the couch with my head resting on my knees, my sister Tabetha recgonized my odd behavor and stange faces and questioned me about the pause in my salad making. She suggest I sit back on the couch and rest, the next memory I have I’m waking up on the couch sweaty with my hair in my face trying to catch my breath waking up from a seizure with my brother-in-law Tim ensuring I didn’t choke or hit my head on anything. 

This is the first time I’ve ever had an aura, hopefully I’ll continue to have auras. When people have auras they are different in each person with epilepsy, some people smell strange things, I’ve read articles about patients smelling bacon or flowers, I have a girlfriend Amber who sees yellow halos of light shortly around things before she has seizures, and auras aren’t always present before all seizures, so its kind of a guessing game. SURPRISE! Blah. At the time, and post-seizure I wasn’t particularly excited about it, Tabetha was ready to throw a party. Hopefully what this means is that maybe I’ll be able to have of a warning system and wont be falling out all over the floor and busting my ass and bonking my head and having more traumatic brain injuries ontop of being epileptic. Cool, I’ll take it.
Being epileptic has taught me that people are stupid. Two things you need to know, my brain might malfunction but I'm not retarded and I have an excuse for my brain damage WHATS YOURS?!

Being epileptic has taught me that people are stupid. Two things you need to know, my brain might malfunction but I’m not retarded and I have an excuse for my brain damage WHATS YOURS?! 😛 Don’t forget your sense of humor.

Baby steps to freedom or small freedoms. I’d love to not fall down and have bruises all over my body and my face, if I could get past that these seizures would be manageable, maybe I could go back to working regularly. I would cry tears of joy that could fill buckets if I could have a semi normal life again.
Man, Betsey is still a real insperation. Keep kicking ass!

Man, Betsey is still a real inspiration. Keep kicking ass!

I’ve been drafting patterns and getting back to my inner seamstress, keeping up with NY Fashion Week and really trying to remember who I was before the seizures invaded my life and tried to take over. I’m NOT letting them! I try to remember strong women like Betsey Johnson who inspired me to be a fashion designer when I was 5. I would watch E! before it became the huge network it is today, and they used to play fashion shows on saturday mornings, I’d wake up and before cartoons I’d watch the fashion shows on Fashion TV. The first time I ever saw a Betsey Johnson runway show is permanently etched in my brain, there were tall models strutting down the runway in GIANT jeweled gingham circle skirts with big stacked platforms and at the end of the show Betsey ran down the runway with her orange hair and did a cartwheel. She was a free spirit and at 5 years old in my PJs with my Barbies I wanted to be her when I grew up. Years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, she said it was important to enjoy life more so I’m trying to take a page out of her book and not work myself into the ground while making my dreams happen. I can’t have an empire if I’m dead now can I?

To Gain a Little Perspective.

I cant begin to explain the video blog above, fresh from the shower I felt compelled to “speak” to my friends and family and to give an update about where exactly life has taken me on this crazy convulsion filled journey. I know that there cant be rain clouds every day and fight to stay positive that life will settle and I will find peace. Please listen to my crazy ramblings and allow me to share with honesty the perspective I have on the world today.

Love you all, deeply, keep pushing forward and fight the good fight, I’m in your corner.


Sneakers, Scallop Tacos, and Feminist Art….

So, its a little more than 2 weeks before I make the big move to Atlanta, while tying up loose ends, and planning the big road trip I cant help but have a certain amount of nostalgia for Los Angeles. I’m continually awe struck by the amazing-ocity of this town, the parties, the music, the fashion, the food, but most importantly the family I’ve been blessed to make while here.

This is home

This is home

My mind is racing, there are so many things I want to do before I leave, and while the move to the ATL isn’t permanent, any time spent away from my beloved Los Angeles is going to be torture. Sadly there isn’t enough time for me to do it all, but, hopefully the city wont change too much while I’m away.
I think one of the things I’m going to miss most is the loft apartment I’ve call home for the past two and a half years. I’m going to miss the bums I see daily as I walk to my car, I’m going to miss the striking contrast of trendy scenesters, tattooed art kids, and street gypsies. I’m going to miss hearing the LA Swat Team run drills every Saturday on the roof of the adjacent police station. I’m going to miss the MOCA, LACMA, and fucking China Town. I’m going to miss the monthly art walk, though I only ever attended a handful of them

Outside my window

Outside my window

I’m going to miss Senior Fish and their amazing succulent scallop tacos, I’m going to miss my grilled cheese love from In-N-Out, Korean BBQ in K-town and The Valley with my family, but mostly I’m going to miss the feta cube and chocolate pot de creme from The Tangier in Silver Lake.

I’m going to miss LA street culture, I’m going to miss stenciling trips by SiArch with my best friend. I’m going to miss driving down Melrose and spying a new Banksy piece, I’m going to miss Shepard Fairy’s Obey Giant phenomenon littering the city. I’m going to miss sneaker shops and Pink Berry in Little Tokyo. I’m going to FUCKING MISS LOS ANGELES!

Some of Shep's work down by Little Tokyo

Some of Shep

Lets not forget driving down PCH, the 101, the 10 freeways, baked, hair floating around my face, over sized gangsta shades, common’s voice dancing through my ears, while the sun streams down onto my face while I run errands through town. Thats fucking love, SON!

However, all lovey dovey shit aside, I know this move is going to be great, and is going to make me appreciate my home so much more when I finally get back. I could end this post with some cheesy overly optimistic statement about “making home where ever you are blah blah cliche” however, I’m just going to say I hope it doesn’t suck, and call it a night.