Ok, I’m down with that sentiment but can’t a girl get both? What about video games AND being treated like a queen? How about wine and Wii? I’m all about balance.

Experienced seizure number 2 after work a few nights back, I’m ok, in good condition and seeing my Nuerologist at the beginning of the new week. Just wanted to pop on and prove I’m alive and in good spirits…..expect realtime updates very soon.

Love you all.

My new Hello Kitty pillow cases make it all better

It is my first video blog in sometime, so do be gentle please, ha ha ha. There are two moments in the video where the audio continues as the video freezes up a little, its just for a few moments, just listen to the soothing sounds of my voice until you defrost. This Vlog focuses, or tries to focus on the optimism I have for the new year, please check in on me from time to time to see how the momentum is moving.

I was finally able to catch the Banksy movie “Exit Through The Gift Shop.” It really was cheeky and funny in all the dark twisted ways only Banksy can deliver. Banksy’s “voice” follows you through the movie and narrates snarkily as he comments on modern street art and its place in the art movement, and how comical and ridiculous partrons AND artists can be. I think its worth a watch, especially with the slew of street art super-stars making cameos.

Out of Atlanta more street art projects that touch my heart. Ola Bad via Wooster Collective.

Ola Bad ATL 2011

A few weeks ago my familial partner in crime, the cousin and I, embarked on a mini roadtrip up to NorCal to visit family. It was raining as we drifted through the grapevine, as we headed further north my mind raced and my brow settled into a deeply pensive expression, I think this might often be the look you will find on my face these days, constantly trying to work out the puzzles of life, trying to see where all the pieces fit.

I made a heavy decision when I was 12, I had no idea what I was doing, and in no way knew that life would be so drastically different. When I moved to SoCal so many years ago it was impossible to see the scope of the decision I had made, and sometimes I wonder if I will spend my whole life trying to mend and repair the things I broke as result of my move. This decision was on my mind as we ventured further down the highway, it caused my brows to furrow heavily and still weighed on me as we pulled into my Aunt & Uncle’s driveway hours later.

I was nervous to see my family and was worried my defection would keep me from being close and developing strong bonds, it was this weekend that I learned that TRUE family is always willing to welcome you back into the fold and give you the opportunity to prove that life has indeed changed, how can I forget the open door policy enacted by the matriarchs of my family generation years ago?

I have a younger cousin, whom I never had the chance to become close with, half because of geography and half because I wasnt sure how to reach out, he without question pulled me back into the fold, cuddled, hugged, and treated me like a big sister without question. My Aunt and Uncle reminded me to stay close, to call more frequently, and most importabtly, reminded me that family is your lifeline, something I think I might of  forgotten, or possibly an idea I never  learned.

After spending some time cuddled up next to my younger cousin on the family sectional talking about art and ipods he finally looked over in my direction, lifted his eyebrows slightly, and glanced at me in a sideways fashion while mimiking my facial expressions and smartly asked me why he caught me looking at the world sideways so much, ha ha. Well little man, I guess you’re right and very perceptive, the world is often turned on its side in my life. I really never expected such revelation in life to come from an impromptu family road trip.

I have a very small tattoo behind my right ear, truthfully its a little grimey, its been on my body aging for 6 years, a permeanent reminder of a date that will live on in infamy the rest of my life, the date that a small piece of my heart drifted off to heaven. On Jan 13 2004 I lost a member of my extended family, Dan. Dan was hopelessly dapper, deeply Italian, and my fathers oldest, dearest, and only friend, he had always been my “Uncle” Dan, and apart of my new life in California. Dan had always been waiting in the wings helping to guide and keep my path straight and brought balance and love to life with my father the bachelor.

My fairytale slowly started to smudge and darken after my “Uncle” Dan lost a courageous battle with cancer in 2004. The night before he passed, I remember waking up violently from sleep, I laid in bed kicking the sheets around as the light of the morning slowly slipped through the blinds, every nerve in my body felt tense and I could not shake this phantom feeling nagging at me as I tried to drift back to sleep. Eventually I grew frustrated and decided to steal a few moments away in a hot shower. While standing in the shower aimlessly lathering my hair, wondering why I could feel such a shift in the universe I go the call I hoped would never come, alone and soapy in the shower my heart stopped beating, Dan had finally found rest. I raced to his home, shampoo still bubbling in my hair to say goodbye. Dan was the first death I’d ever experienced, and still to this day, 7 years later, when I should be a little closer to letting go, I can’t and I still hurt and miss you with every cell and molecule in my body.

I wish that this day in history 7 years ago could have been different, I wish you were around to scold me for my tattoos, hug me at the holidays, and here to keep my dad in line. I am happy you feel no pain any longer, and that you finally have REST. You have influenced my life and touched my heart in ways I could of never imagined, thank you for being my family, even though we never shared the same blood, I really do miss you every single moment of every day. I love you and promise to never forget the man you were and the smiles your memory inspire. I miss my Uncle Dan and there will never be a Jan 13th that I dont think of you and wish you were still here.

It’s because of Dan, because of my cousins, because of my Aunts and Uncles, because of the elemental need for love and family and to be apart of a tribe that keeps me pushing forward in 2011. It keeps me mindful of growth, it keeps me from running away when the seasons change. It keeps me looking for a man that Dan would be proud to say was my partner, it keeps me grinding to own my own business to prove to my family I made it and have something to contribute to the lineage, its what makes me pick up the phone and call my mom when I’m tired, and keeps my lips moving when I’m tired of explaining myself.

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I’ve had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

With the new year nipping at my heels and stepping on my sneakers, I wanted to count down a few of my favorite things in 2011:

Dunks with neon floss from sneakerstuff.com

1. For the love of neon. It’s really no secret that I like a little neon love, a stripe, splash, or splotch is just enough to take any outfit out of this world. Too much neon and you’re a human reflector, just the right amount of neon and you look fly. I think small touches of well placed neon can really take you far, designers as far a Dubai and close to home in NYC are boasting dayglow trims and accessories, even mass market manufactures J. Crew are getting in the business of neon. Too nervous to try a large splash of neon? Try starting with a pair of neon laces for high impact doses of color on a small scale or adding a pop of neon to neutrals for a modern look but be sure to keep it thoughtful and polished to avoid looking over done.

Orange laces and magenta soles. www.sneakerstuff.com

Grab a pair from www.sneakerstuff.com

2. Thoughtful Tailoring.
It doesn’t matter what size you buy off the rack, what does matter is that you pay

Maggy London for Nordstrom

attention to detail, a well tailored shirt, skirt or pair of slacks can stretch basics in your wardrobe and provide a basis for lots of styling options. Some of my favorite tailored pieces for the new year translate menswear tailoring into fem fashions, where fabrics like denim translate tailored sleeves and necklines into chic well fitting dresses.

The silhouette of this dress, paired with the princess seams and empire waist tailoring take masculine cues and make them feminine. Dress by Maggy London. Available in plus and womenswear sizes at Nordstrom.com

www.Misphit.com

Taking menswear tailoring another direction, design divas over at Misphit clothing partner menswear fabrics with vertical pin-tucks and over-sized buttons for a sleek yet sophisticated tailored look this season. This corset dress elevates turtlenecks to high fashion with the price tag set at a reasonable $52 dollars, chic tailoring is available on every budget.

Shop Missphit.com.

3. Become a member of the “Rich Kids Club”

Membership is easy, Rich Kids Club is a club like no other, c’mon they’re

Evidence Shades.

something like a country club. A group of individual’s who go for our goals, dreams and look good while accomplishing them. To join the Rich Kids Club, you must follow several rules and stick to them. (1) Live life the way you want to. (2) Follow your dreams. (3) Stay positive (4) Have ridiculous swagger (5) Wear our sunglasses.

It really is true love fro Duex Lux.

4. Carry a “Super Nova” on your back.

Ohhh, Duex Lux! Chainmail? Iridescent finishes? Large leather hobo bags? A neutral for every occasion? I’m in love! Duex Lux introduced a giant hobo for the spring, “The Super Nova.” It’s accented with diagonal chain-mail chevrons, and has a massive braided handle. This bag is an absolute gem, large enough to tote all over the city but still chic enough to keep you fly as you run your less glam errands. I’m not sure which color I adore more, the white or the gunmetal, decide for yourself and pick one up at www.Karmaloop.com

Whatever style notions you happen to subscribe to in the new year, I hope that you find yourself with the people who matter the most to you in life, because whats good style without someone to appreciate it?

Man, 2010 flew by me at breakneck speeds.

While the year was filled with a tremendous amount of travel, it took me all year to get to the exact point I am today. On Friday Dec 24th 2010 with the year coming to a close I find myself excited for more growth in 2011.

In a year, I’ve traversed life, hoping my compass will lead me in the right direction. Sometimes I’ve traveled in a straight line, sometimes I’ve run in circles, and sometimes I’ve climbed the highest mountains only to end up ass deep in the valley. While the destination isn’t as important as the journey, sometimes my traveling feet get tired. In 2011 I’m looking forward to simultaneous growth AND rest.

Yes, life is a contradiction. More importantly, life is about balance. About the sun and moon sharing the same sky, about the pleasure and the pain of true knowledge.

As 2011 quickly approaches I try to make my travel plans for the new year, but how do I prepare when I have no idea where this years journey will take me? I cant and I guess that’s half the fun.

I’m busy scheming my sneaker/streetwear empire while for the first time in life taking a moment to build with my family. 2010 is the year I decided to let my family in, and 2011 is the year I get to put in the work and prove that I want to be apart of my family after all these years I’ve chosen to be away. 2011 is another year to keep grinding, to continue laboring and laying the groundwork for my life.

My life has been much different since I’ve chosen to take an active roll, in 2011 I’m participating in life, my heart is going to hurt, I’m going to bleed, I’m going to be fucking tired, I’m going to without a doubt be misunderstood, I’m going to make mistakes and its definitely going to rain. However, in 2011 there is also going to be a tremendous amount of love, I’m going to climb mountains, and just when I think I can’t walk any further I WILL RUN.

2011 I’m going to run this life or I’m going to die putting in the cardio.